So, with Covid-19 out there and hospitals stopping all "Elective" surgeries, I have been waiting to hear what the outcome and date would be for my brain surgery. As someone that is autoimmune compromised on multiple things I have been praying that I won't have surgery until all this crazy is over with.
However, my doctor called me about a week ago and I am now scheduled for surgery on June 10th, as long as things stay the same in my county. So I guess the proper terminology would be "I am tentatively scheduled for brain surgery on June 10th." Brain surgery is on the top of the charts for surgeries that are considered of high importance, My chiari to the radiologist looked normal, my cerebellum fluid to him appeared to be flowing enough, but my neurosurgeon saw that my cerebellum fluid was only flowing one direction, which made him concerned. My skull blocked all flow going into one direction and that caused concern because I was only getting half of the fluid my brain and spine needs to be healthy.
The last couple of days have been very difficult for me. I have been having major vertigo from my chiari. I bend over and I when I get up my vertigo is so bad I run into walls. My eyes feel as if they are wiggling in my head. My left ear has continual liquid in it and my body has been in so much pain. My body is changing again, which I have heard happens with chiari. According to many medical websites and people I've talked to or read their stories, chiari symptoms typically progress and worsen over time. Is that where I am at?
So, how am I feeling about this? Excited! Nervous! Scared! Terrified! Relieved! I have so many mixed emotions that I have to be honest I have NO CLUE how I am feeling. I just know that I feel off and surgery is supposed to help me feel better (after my brain heals). My neurosurgeon commented to me though that because of my T1 diabetes he can't tell me how much better I am going to feel. He knows I won't have the success rate of people that don't have diabetes because of the nerve damage that has happened to me over the 38 years I have had T1 diabetes. All he could tell me is that I will feel 30-80% better. I once again am a unique case and there is no way to know how I will heal and how much better I will feel.
So, as I said I'm not sure about this. I have very mixed emotions. Going into this surgery before my goal and a success was being able to get out of bed without having to roll out of bed. Now, my hope (since I've been so off) is after surgery being able to get out of bed without feeling vertigo and my eyes wiggling in my head. It has changed dramatically, but anything that is going to make me feel like I can walk and bend down without falling over is a success in my book. So, many people would say 30% healing isn't worth possible death or paralysis.....
For me 30% healing isn't living a "normal" life, but it allows me to live again. So, yes it is worth it.
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